This summer, I did a five day road trip around Scotland, visiting the Isle of Mull, Iona, Staffa and the surrounding countryside of Edinburgh with my father, Peter, following the death of his brother, Jamie. I had felt compelled, after this sudden and tragic loss, to connect with my father after many years of near-estrangement. Before our trip, the longest time we had spent alone together was never usually more than a single day.

Peter is eccentric, formidable – a man who marches to the beat of his own drum and no one else’s. The only one who’s kept up is Jumble, his closest companion, a 14 year old Jack Russell.

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The trip was a chance for me to try to understand, and appreciate, my father’s unique, challenging and complex character. I wanted to keep a record of it, to capture our attempt at reconnection, to document the memories we made along the way.

The trip was emotional, beautiful and exhausting. My camera became a saviour, through it I could observe him – he was my muse. Though his reaction to being photographed was often in the form of a scowl, the interaction it created became a form of communication and connection between us. This was new ground for us both.

Who is my father? Do I understand him? How well do any of us know our parents as entities beyond the role of mother or father? Does understanding his life better vindicate him of the mistakes he made as my parent?

I hope that these images have captured some of what I learnt: that Scotland is beautiful, that my father is strange and brilliant, and that my time spent with him has helped me to make sense of, and heal from, a complex family past.

Header image credits: Peter on Staffa Island, (Olympus Mju 35mm Film), photographed by Lara Monro